You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
