he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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