Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize