is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
