I can tuck mytits in my pants
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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