i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
