Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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