Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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