Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
