i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
