hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
