dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
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Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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