my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
