Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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