i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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