that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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