We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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