I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
