Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize