I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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