dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
