The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize