The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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