I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
