Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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