The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
