Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
