Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
