C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
