Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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