what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
