do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
