Soap is not a condiment
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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