I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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