She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
