I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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