It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
