How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
