i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
