My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
a search helicopter?!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
