i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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