if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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