Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I will pee on everything he values.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
