We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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