On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
