S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i believe in u and ur pee
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