Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
