i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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