I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
