I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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