3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
