The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
its not stalking. its research.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
