i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
