I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
