what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
