I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
